Re: What are common customs an American should know of when traveling to Paris, France?
Posted 29 January 2011
Generally speaking the French are more formal than most Americans.
In everyday speech this means appending "s'il vous plâit" (please) to any request and mever failing to say "merci" (thank you). It means saying "je voudrais" (I would like) and not "donnez moi" (give me) when ordering from a menu. It means calling the waiter "Monsieur" and not "Garçon." It means greeting the staff at a shop with "Bonjour" (madam or monsieur as appropriate) before ordering something and saying "au revoir" (goodbye) when you leave.
The French tend to follow the older practice of not calling each other by first names or using the familiar (tu/vous) without at least some acquaintance (although this is not so much true of young people).
And while many more French people speak English than Americans speak French, you should always ask (parlez vous Anglais?) before simply speaking English to someone you don't know..
The easy presumption of friendship or the discussing of personal matters with relative strangers that is common in America is sometimes seen as boorish or crude by the French.
Americans in particular who will talk about the intimate details of their love lives, the state of their personal finances, and the cost of everything they own with someone they met ten minutes ago are, for that reason, regarded as utterly outré.
On the other hand, Americans, who have been taught to never discuss politics or religion, sometimes think they are being singled out for abuse when the French express their opinions on such matters. They are not, of course. they are simply engaging in the second most popular French indoor sport.
Dial back your personal volume control. The French are much quieter than Americans. Speaking in a loud voice or even loud enough that your conversation can be clearly understood by the people at the next table in a restaurant is bad form.
The French are also a bit put off by the big smile that Americans often seem to have plastered on their faces for no particular reason. The French see this as a sign of insincerity or perhaps even mild mental retardation.
In the same way that they don't appreciate loud talk the French tend to avoid loud colors. Try to pack clothing that is stylish but muted. Favor dark colors rather than bright ones. Likewise, any clothing that has some message on the order of "I'm with stupid" on it should stay in the drawer.
When in a cafe, which often seems the center of life in Paris, recall that Cafe au lait is only called that at breakfast. At other times it is "café crème " or "une crème." If ordering the a standard tiny cup of black coffee, sound like a native by calling for "un espress."
Asking for special preparation of food items is generally frowned on as is the practice of the "doggy bag."
By law, prices must be posted in the window of cafes. You will notice that there are usually at least two price levels. One is for service at the bar (le zinc) and the other for table service. It is cheating to buy a drink at the bar and then take a table to drink it at. But if you do buy something while at a table you can sit there for as long as you want without ordering anything else. One reason the prices are higher is that the cost accounts for the idea that it buys you the right to linger for as long as you like, reading a book, writing post cards or just sitting and wathcing the world go by.
Butter is served with bread only at breakfast and with the cheese course.
When you pay for something the person taking your money expects you to put it down, rather than taking it directly from your hand. Most places have a sort of tray on the counter expressly for this purpose.
When you're in a theater and have to go by someone to get to your seat always pass in front of them facing toward them, that is, away from the screen or the stage. It's very rude otherwise. Ushers in theaters, including movie theaters, should be tipped when they show you to your seat. A small coin is enough.
Although there are fewer and fewer of them with each passing year there are still public toilet facilities that have attendants. They should also be tipped.
When traveling on public transportation you'll notice little fold down seats close to the doors. These can be used until the subway car fills up. If and when it does become crowded you should stand up to make more room. You'll also notice that there are some seats which are identified as being for wounded war veterans, pregnant women etc. You may sit there but should give up your seat if someone in these categories needs it.
If you keep you eyes open, watch what others do, and bear in mind that even in the simplest things there can be differences, you'll do fine.
Bonne chance!