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[sekopunt_pr]

What do you think what is more important looks or character?

[Hertikol882]

Looks are overrated.
My wife is pretty. But its a mistake to marry or get together on the basis of looks.

[sekopunt_pr]

now you tell me!

[prozac7674]

Oh shut up we both know damn well you didn't go out with me for my looks

[Hertikol882]

Well my wife was quite hot when we got married..
But women tend to put on some pounds with time She is still very pretty though. especially her face.

[Selesta]

The chick was psycho though!
hehehe

[Hertikol882]

See when I asked my wife to marry me, I said this..
I said listen, I want to have children or I wont marry, And If I have children I want them to have a mother at home. If you agree to this, Marry me. If you dont agree with this, Please do not marry me.
Had nothing to do with like or dislike, I was in love, but love is not enough I wanted children desperately.
And I wanted children whose care was not sub contracted to other people.

[jenifferka]

it sounds like you married her womb

[eidosbd]

Hahahahah

[Selesta]

Heheh, pulled out his Stegosaurus slugger and knocked her out and took her back to the cave by her hair and said "Ugh! Yoo coook food.."

[Hertikol882]

No I married her, Had she been unable to have kids I would of stayed with her, But the important point was that she had to also want kids whether or not we were capable.
Because I loved her but I also had expectations for marraige.

[sekopunt_pr]

if she were unable, you could have adopted

[Hertikol882]

Its like my first girlfriend when we would talk about marraige she would tell me I would have to babtize my kids in the catholic church.

[jenifferka]

There is nothing like honesty .. but I am surprised you didn't include "I love you" in that proposal

[Hertikol882]

I said I wouldn't do it

[Zuban]

I actually think that people should get all that stuff on the table before they get married
I've seen people marry who they each didn't share the same objectives with regard to having kids and they ended up divorced.

[Selesta]

"Ugh! You burn food, me get horny long time"

[jenifferka]

Actually, since you felt so strong about it .. that was really the right way to do it. She knew up front what the deal was. You didn't spring it on her later.

[Zuban]

It's too big of a thing to leave to "hoping they'll change their minds"

[sekopunt_pr]

I know a guy whose wife didn't want to have kids and he was really pissed

[Selesta]

I met my girl at a harley bar, she was a major pot dealer

[sekopunt_pr]

If both say they hae no current desire to have kids, then they might change their minds later

[Hertikol882]

Like I said, I broke up with my first love of 4 years or so over giving my kids to the catholic church which I refused, I was an athesit, I didnt mind her being a catholic and going to church.
But I would not give the Church my kids..
I felt strongly and my girlfriend did not so much object, her mother would of been crushed, she was Ireland born and the Church to her was the difference between hell and heaven

[johny-johny]

Hertikol882, calls his wife fat and only use her as a breeding machine for his satanic offsprings

[Hertikol882]

johny-johny, Well that's the harsh way to look at it And my own fault.
I was very much in love first and at the time
But I knew what I wanted and I didn't want to argue with her later, I wanted a committment for a committment
I committed myself to her for life
In exchange for her committment to if we could have kids, to not farm out the raising of them to a sub contactor like a Preschool
I see so much destruction from pre schools
We babysit a lot of these kids.

[Zuban]

maybe you mean daycare?

[Hertikol882]

Daycare and preschool

[Zuban]

Lots of kids go to preschool and it's pretty good for them
Gets them ready for school and they have fun and make friends

[Hertikol882]

Of course I studied psychology and specialized in pediatric psychology before I left college.

[Zuban]

The studies on the subject of daycare basically say that if the program is good quality, it's very good for the kid
My kids were in a co-op preschool. They loved it

[Hertikol882]

The first 5-6 years of a child life or very important formatively
We have proof of this both physiologically and subjective psychology

[Selesta]

I didn't have a very good child hood with my parents and aunt and uncle and cousins and all that
But the parts that i choose to remember i like the most
Like playing out in the fields and stuff
Watching butterflies and stuff
Pickin' green apples out of the big apple tree
Throwing the green apples at the stupid cows

[AmericanGuestHouse.Com]

Funny how these discussions get off topic, but anyways, this is how I think, no matter what someone looks like, how can you like them if you cant hold a conversation or even get along? The point of companionship is to have someone you care about not so much to have someone that you can show off. I won't lie, in today's society you are forced to take a look and rate yourself (and better yourself) but I honestly don't think that matters!

[Hertikol882]

For people who have to work both couples, the child needs a consistant caretaker for her first 5 years at least.
A grandmother is fine.
Or a nanny, preferably one who lives in side your home.

[Zuban]

A good quality child care progam is also fine
Prior to age 2, a babysitter or nanny is preferable
But after age 2, a more structured and social setting is nice
They enjoy it
And they get a lot out of it

[flower_curator]

Yeah, a cute nanny
Young and easy

[Hertikol882]

The king of Morrocco had a Jewish Nanny which is why he is so Non anti semitic. She was important to him
2-5 is the most important age
0-2 is in fact slightly less important.
The emotional security is bonded in the 2nd to 5th or 6th years.

[flower_curator]

But after 5 it's okay to kill them for being little shits right?

[Hertikol882]

My kids were totally secure growing up and I never hit them once, I never had to .They didnt suck their thumbs, either of them.
I did
Until I was in 1st grade
AND MAYBE longer!

[flower_curator]

you sucked thier thumbs?

[sarinka]

I sucked my thumb too

[Hertikol882]

Hehe
My own thumb

[Zuban]

Neither one of mine sucked their thumbs
But then I didn't either

[Hertikol882]

An attempt to find security

[Hertikol882]

I also never paid attention to age
I paid attention to development.
I let things happen naturally
In their own time
I never rushed anything

[Zuban]

Thumb sucking is a self-soothing activity
Like rocking one's self
Or attachment to a special object like a toy
Etc

[Selesta]

I never sucked my thumb but i used to bite my finger nails down to the nub =/
Heh i still do bite my finger nails actually

[Hertikol882]

Gross..
My kids had no special attachments.
I had a blanket I cried when my dad said he burned it.
I sucked my thumb I had a blankie. I was very insecure as a child.

[Zuban]

It's really not an indicator of anything

[Selesta]

I never had a blankey

[Zuban]

I think that even secure kids have "security objects"

[politicgirls]

My son is still mad at me for throwing his baba in the trash truck heh

[Selesta]

Hehe i had a motorcycle =P
Oh my god although!
I did have my favorite all time Ozzy Osbourne hat
It had pins that would be worth 100's of dollars today
My dad threw the fucker into the trash!
Asshole
The entire hat was covered in Ozzy pins

[Zuban]

I've read nothing that suggests a kid's attachment to an object is a sign that they're insecure
My daughter had an imaginary friend

[flower_curator]

My sister and I got punished one time; My dad poored water into our beds before we went to sleep and tolds us when we fucked up and were living on the streets that's how it'd be.
I don't remember what we did wrong, but it was aparently something to do with not respecting what we had... I certainly remember the punishment though lol

[vehtopunt_rx]

Well I had 3 kids.. to did not suck thumbs or have objects they would not give up.. one had a blanket..
They were all raised the same

[Hertikol882]

My children were never insecure. They were sourrouned by us all the time. Holding them caring for them reading to them, calming them down by talking to them not by hitting them, I broke all the conventioanl rules and so far the experiment is succeeding. I an in the final phase lets see if it goes well And I hope my kids stay close to me after high school and college

[politicgirls]

I got called a fucker a lot when I was young