Paris English Forums

Lion

1. A computer can wait forever for you.

2. A computer doesn't compare you with it's past users.

3. A computer doesn't get calls from it's past users while you're logged in.

4. A computer doesn't mind how excited you get.

5. A computer doesn't tell you how completely teriffic it's past users have been.

6. A computer is big in all the right places.

7. A computer never forgets your birthday.

8. A computer won't ask, "Are you in?"

9. A computer won't ask, "Is there another computer?"

10. A computer won't even talk about marriage.

11. A computer won't fall in love with you just because you have sex.

12. A computer won't get bitchy if you're slow to respond.

13. A computer won't grade you on how much you send it.

14. A computer won't look through your checkbook.

15. A computer won't mind how many other accounts you have, or if you keep getting new ones.

16. A computer won't say, "Let's just be friends."

17. A computer won't shave with your razor.

18. A computer's maintainance personel don't cross-examine you every time you log in.

19. Computers are easy to turn on.

20. Computers are ready when you are.

21. Computers are very responsive.

22. Computers aren't into finding out how far you'll go to keep your account.

23. Computers do everything you tell them to.

24. Computers don't care about age differences.

25. Computers don't care if you're married.

26. Computers don't get pregnant.

27. Computers don't get upset if you use other computers.

28. Computers don't insist on foreplay.

29. Computers don't make you meet their parents.

30. Computers don't mind if you share them with a friend.

31. Computers don't mind spending hours on the phone with you.

32. Computers don't play head games unless you ask them to.

33. Computers never ask you to call them in the morning.

34. Computers never have headaches, or take rainchecks, or have a curfew, or have that time of the month.

35. Computers won't mind if you don't like their friends.

36. If you don't like the feel of one terminal you can easily switch to another in less than a min.

37. Size doesn't count to a computer.

38. The average computer session lasts four hours.

39. With a computer, you never have to say you're sorry.

40. You can log into several computers at once.

41. You can turn off a computer.

42. You can visit a computer any time you like, and it'll be up and ready for you.

43. You don't have to tell computers you love them.

xXx

Hehe!

Here are some more:
With a computer, you can press the buttons without it getting sore.
A computer doesn't mind you using other computers as well.
Computers never, EVER gets a period.
You wouldn't bother to play Strip Poker all night with a girlfriend.
No girlfriend can hold your undivided attention for 30 hours in a stretch.
If a computer gets a virus, it can be cleaned away.
No matter how ugly your computer is, you can show it to your friends.
Your computer never wants to be taken out for dinner.
Your computer doesn't mind if you are unshaved, haven't showered this week or are sitting by it in your underwear.
You will never find your computer in bed with your best friend.
_________________
xXx - Extrem Sports Master

Look at the Paris Commune. That was the Dictatorship of the Proletariat.